Often when looking at our life purpose we put the emphasis on MY purpose. Every purpose includes others if not centering on others. When you make your like purpose all about yourself you set yourself up for an empty victory. There is no purpose within yourself.
You and I are made to live in community with others and the role of leader is best lived out through serving others. Leaders can fall into the trap of thinking that they are important. That when they are successful others will be successful. In reality, you are successful when those you lead are success. Their success is what makes you successful.
Where does respect come in to this discussion? Respect is captured in the time tested Golden Rule. Do onto others as you would have them do to you. Respect is getting into the shoes of others and anticipating their feelings and needs and then acting accordingly. Respects is assigning value to others, not for what they can do for you, but because as a person they have intrinsic value. Respect is a verb. It is about what you do when you interact with others.
Now let me wrap this together. When you put people as the target of your life purpose and treat them with respect you will find success. Success in not found in money, toys or vacation homes but in making others successful. That starts with anticipating how others will be affected by your words or actions. Adapting your choices to make them successful and then carrying out those choices.
Are you giving others respect? Today, as you go through your day be intentional about giving others respect. If you do, you will be a success story when you go to bed tonight. Now go be a success!
Roy: "Ok, I'll fill in the blanks next time."
First of all I want to say Thank You to all the Veterans and the family of those who gave their lives for our freedom. Today is Memorial Day in the USA and it is the day to remember the sacrifice of those who served and those that died. Again, Thank You!!!
Last Saturday I ran my first 5k run/walk. A friend, named Roy, also ran it. It was his first 5k also. In filling out the reg. form Roy did not put his age. He left that space blank. After the race we were all looking at the number and someone noticed that Roy was 3rd. in his age category in time. Yet, someone else go the 3rd. place slot in the published results. Why? Because Roy left the space blank.
Like a lighting flash the thought raced through my mind, how many times do I miss something important, something that would be meaningful, something that I was created for because I left a space empty. I did not fill in the blank.
Maybe I was too busy. Or I thought it does not matter, I’ll never need that space filled in. Perhaps I don’t like following the rules or didn’t take time to even notice there was a space to fill. Whatever the reason how many times have I missed something important because I left the space empty?
Placing 3rd. in your first 5k is not a life changing event. Problem is you never know which event will be life changing or which event could be life changing for someone else. Blanks don’t always matter, but sometimes they do. My problem is I don’t know ahead of time which is which.
Moral of the story: Fill in the blanks.
I ran my first 5k walk/run this morning. It was great. My daughter-in-law was the fastest female. I have lost 40 lbs. over the last year and think that I am getting in better shape. My wife and some good friends did the walk/run together. I knew I was in trouble when I was passed by a lady pushing a baby stroller. Notice the pic with the stroller and my view.
There goes the baby stroller
When I got to the finish line my friend, Chris, (see pic) was waiting for me. I started off keeping up with her and I think I could have done it if it hadn’t been for the dog that chased me off the path, the runner who pushed me into the lake and the official who sent me down the wrong path. (Just kidding about the official.) While we waited for others we talked about what we learned running our first 5k. Chris talked about wearing long pants, jacket (it was cold) and
- Chris and I after our first 5k
the stuff that bogs you down. What do we carry through life that bogs us down? What do YOU carry that bogs YOU down? Bitterness, indecision, disappointment, fear? I told her that I watched her leave me in the dust, rather the mud, and how she would run and then walk and then run and then walk. You get the point. She did what she could as much as she could and did not quit. She had a goal in mind, run this thing in less than 45 minutes, and she kept that in focus. Run, walk, run, walk… but never losing focus. Do you keep your focus? Do you do what you can as much as you can with your goal in mind. She did! Me? I ran, walked, walked, ran, walked, walked…. I wasn’t as focused. My only goal was to finish before that lady with the baby stroller. Bummer.
Busy, busy, busy. Everyone is busy and running here and there. As a child my favorite book was called Eastside Westside. It was about all the people who lived on the east side of town worked on the west side of town and all the people who lived on the west side of town worked on the east side of town. I had my sister and brother read it to me until they were sick of it. The point of that little memory is how busy people were, are and will be.
Busyness sucks your values out of your life unless you become intentional about finding and keeping them. When you are too busy you are tempted to obey the urgent and not the important. Just one more thing and then I will take time to do the important. But it never slows down.
When you know your values, I mean really know them and can tell someone your top 5 values if asked, then they can become a part of your decision-making process. When your values are vague and not formulated in a clear matter they do you no good. They don’t help you focus. So the tyranny of the urgent rules and the important things go undone. My guess is that if you are reading this and it rings true to you, you are still too busy to find your core values. I know the thinking. Tomorrow or next week I’ll do that. I have projects that are sitting waiting for tomorrow and tomorrow seems to never come.
I did one thing last summer that has been the best thing I did all year– I took time to find my values. Now they are helping me focus and choose which projects will get done and which will not get done. The ones that are sitting behind me on the desk are not getting done because my values dictate that I do more important activities not the ones crying out for attention but are only urgent.
I hope this make sense and you see yourself somewhere in it. Need help finding your values? Contact me at www.billgraybill.com and see if what happens.
I am finishing the first draft of a book on conflict. Help me out. Tell me your biggest question or issue that is around conflict. What do you find difficult? What was your biggest mistake in working with conflict. What story do you have where you were successful in dealing with conflict. Go ahead and take a break and write me a quick comment or story.
Thanks.
By the way if you are a mother– Happy Mother’s day. (this is Mother’s day in the USA) My kids came home and their mother fixed them the favorite desserts for Mother’s day. What a great mom!
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